Major Change

I would have never thought that this would happen to me because I had my life (college) all planned out. I was going to graduate this Spring, get a job, and start working in the Fall. Well, God had another plan for me. My key verse from last year describes this situation very well, ‘In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord established their steps’ (Proverbs 16:9). On the last day of my final exams I had to learn that I did not pass my internship and would not be able to move on to the next phase. I tried several times to convince the program director and coordinator to let me go any way, so I could show them that I could change and improve. However, it was in vain. I then realized that their decision was maybe not that bad because I had been very stressed, unhappy, and tired throughout the semester. I thought that maybe this was God’s way of telling me He had something better in store for me. This was very difficult to accept because becoming a teacher had been my dream for years. I had to contain myself during the meeting, so I wouldn’t burst out in tears. After leaving the building the tears just started flowing, not so much because I was sad but more because I was disappointed that I had failed at something I loved and had to tell all these people that I wouldn’t be graduating on time and wouldn’t be able to major in what I loved. I was glad it was dark outside, so I could just let the tears flow. Once I got on the bus I tired to think of other things. One of my close friends/neighbors happened to board the bus just a little after I did. I first did not want to talk about what I had just learned and talked about other things going on in school. However, I decided that it probably would be better to just tell him what had happened, which ended up being a great relief. He encouraged me and assured me that God will make a way and I did not have to worry. After getting home, I decided to send emails to my parents and brother. I did not want to wait until the next day and maybe skype them. I had to tell them right then, so I wouldn’t stay up all night thinking about what to say. I was not sure how they would react. I was very worried that they may be disappointed or sad. They replied the next day and told me, though, that they understood and were thankful that I was trusting in God’s leading. After that, it became much easier to tell people what had happened. Many people were shocked, but I told them that I believed that this was God’s plan. On Monday before Christmas, I met with my adviser and talked to her about the change and what I would be doing instead. I told her that I wanted to switch my major to Family Science, which will give me more options in what I can do including teaching and counseling. Now, I have to officially change my major and will have to add another two or three semesters to my studies. I have come to accept this fact and am glad I learned I did not want to teach in public school before I graduated or went on to the next phase of the internship. It is not easy to know what God’s plan is. I still don’t know where He will lead me now, but I do not feel uncertain about my future because I know I have God, whom I can trust in. He is on my side and will lead me on the right path.
When praying for a key verse during the YDJ retreat, I had opened my Bible to my key verse from last year (Proverbs 16:9). When I opened my eyes, Proverbs 16:1 was right in front of me. There it says, “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.” This verse perfectly fit my current situation and even though it may sound similar to my last key verse, I made it my key verse for 2015.